Let me tell you about Joseph Kittinger. He was a guy who - in 1960 - rode a huge helium balloon to the edge of outer space, and then jumped off. He fell for a really long time, and parachuted to a safe landing. It is said that his body broke the sound barrier as he fell (or maybe not…). That is really fecking fast. And he lived. He is in fact still alive. There is now a guy from Austria trying to break his record, and Joe is helping him. It turns out, what he did was really fecking dangerous, and he could have easily died if things went even slightly awry. Several people have since died trying to match or beat his record.

What does this have to do with anything? Let me finish.

There is an iconic photograph (above) of Mr. Kittinger, taken just after he let go of the balloon gondola and started his epic free fall. Looking at the photo is a chance for a person like me (who is rather unlikely to ever free fall to Earth from the edge of Space) to recognize that there are some things in life that are worth risking everything for. He jumped out of a balloon almost twenty miles up in the air. We all face our own challenges.

The fact that people keep moving forward is very important. What if Joe never jumped out of the balloon? What if everyone who was ever hurt closed themselves off from society (it crossed my mind), and decided to make this a “me against the world” scenario? Miserability. Being a miserable wretch and doing whatever you want and whenever you want is a bad idea. Especially when that “anything I want, whenever I want” is always done in a way to try to prevent psychological pain.

It is far better to try and make something anew. ANY new thing.

Yes, life can be bumpy. Yes, people can suck. Yes, people may go out of their way to try and break your heart. But, just like Westly and Princess Buttercup in the Fire Swamp, you can learn to avoid those people.

Sometimes, the good things in life can seem few and far between, and the proper move might seem like hoarding the things that make on happy. I know I tried with fountain pens, and fountain pen inks, and notebooks, and shaving soap, and talc, and other even more silly things.

Happiness does not come from things. Or acquisition of things. Or anything materialistic. Happiness comes from being true to yourself. And staying on the path that will take you to your dreams.

Hoping that one day, all the difficulties will just wash away, is a vainglorious hope. It is a symptom of “magical thinking”, which is a terrible morass.

You gotta keep struggling for what you want (fighting seems harsh). It is when you stop learning and struggling and trying new things that you can let go or your dreams.

At the same time, trying a ton of new things can seem like a great way to avoid dealing with heartache and pain and the Buddhists’ view of suffering. The magical thing about emotional pain, like the email in your inbox, is that it waits for you to deal with it. It won’t go away on its own, and sometimes, it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Confronting the evil is the only way to make it diminish. It probably won’t ever go away entirely.

It would be a really bad mistake to ignore this lesson, or think that things can get better. If it makes sense to you, forgive but don’t forget.

Like Joseph Kittinger, sometimes you just gotta let go of the only support you have and trust in your training and preparation to keep you safe. Moving forward is the only way to go.